So I haven't been on much since my last post. I check in to see what is new, but for the most part have been busy.

Well let’s see.... When last I typed I had lost all hope and was dead inside. Some time after my last post I had ended up having a complete break-down and my wonderful husband desperate to help did a ' power exchange' with me. He guided me as he gave me his energy, his strength and took what little I had and filtered it. A dangerous thing to do, not wise to take someone’s negative and polluted energy into yourself, and I saw the toll it had taken on him but it worked and I felt much better afterward. It also helped him to realize that I was serious and meant it when I had said I was dead inside.

Since then I had (and have) done a lot of ‘soul searching’ and spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I am and what I believe. In April my husband and I joined the local BDSM community which has been great for my self-image and self-esteem as well as for the first time I had finally found a group of people with which I felt I belonged, which was nice. But it still didn’t help me out with the ‘Who am I’ and What do I believe’ questions. Then about 3 months ago after considering it since February I decided to start a whole new chapter in my life. I said ‘to hell’ with the christian god and religion and got back to basics. I decided to go old school (very old school) and have been studying the ancient beliefs. I have been studying Witchcraft as well as Mythology and the old ways. And For the very first time in my entire life I am truly happy. Sure I have bad days… we all do, but I am happy. I am happy with who I am and I accept that I don’t have all the answers. It is that pursuit of knowledge that I love. The more I study the more I learn about who I am. I have had many epiphanies in the past few months, and it would take to long to list them all in detail but I am happy to say that I am no longer the same person who had written my previous journal entries’. I am a new me on a new path and am excited to see what new adventures and new lessons the Universe sends my way.